Traffic Moments

Reading from Chico's blog made me miss traffic in Manila. Corny ang traffic jam dito sa Singapore--sisiw for a Pinay like me. Lam mo ung usad ng mga kotse pagpapasok (or palabas) ka ng parking sa isang mall sa tin on a WEEKDAY? Traffic na sa knila yun. I guess that's one thing I like about Singapore, transportation systems are so efficient--you don't have time to get pissed.

Some of my unforgettable traffic moments in Manila:

A GIRL'S GOTTA DO WHAT A GIRL'S GOTTA DO. Around 2000, Jun and I were dating each other again (after a five-year break up period). On one of those dates, we were supposed to go to Side A's concert at Araneta. It was sometime July 2000 so maulan. We got stuck sa Edsa (Guadalupe part). Lubog ang kotse sa baha! As in lubog pati headlights.Hindi gumagalaw ang traffic. Si Jun busy sa pagconcentrate para hindi kami mamatayan sa gitna ng baha. Ihing-ihi na ako! La ko choice kasi talga. I found a plastic bag somewhere sa car. Pumunta ko sa back seat and there I relieved myself! dyahe! nagpapacute pa naman ako sa mga panahong yun kay tutuy!

WHY SEATBELTS REMIND ME OF ECHO. Jun and I were stuck sa isang interchange along C5. I saw this red F150 on the lane next to us. We were smoking so down-windows kami. i noticed the driver. omg, it was jericho! mind you, this was the time na he was still smokin' hot and not pa-soshal. I poked my head out a bit and asked him: "Jericho, isdatchu?" (ang bakya ko shet). He gave me (us pala) a big smile, waved a hand and said: "Hi!". Then the traffic light turned green, and before he sped off, he waved at me (us pala) and shouted: "Ingat!". And, when he saw us make a turn to the gas station, he gave us the mandatory-parang-kabarkada honk. Jun said, starstruck: "Shet, binusinahan nya ko! Tropa na kami!" Ako naman, I fastened my seat belt kasi sabi nya "ingat" daw ako e. Haha mga feeling eh no?

LOCK JAW PRINCESS. When I was a kid, up until my teenage years, I would always get "lock-jawed". It was really bad to the point that I 'd get really scared opeing my mouth, especially if I want to yawn. One time, when I was around 13 years old, super traffic sa SLEX. Then out of the blue, I got lockjawed na naman. My sister Cha thought I was joking around so she just kept laughing. And they're so used with my lock jaw episopdes, they think kaya ko naman uli "ibalik" yung panga ko. My dad finally noticed na serious na talaga kasi hindi na ko makahinga at yung laway ko tulo na ng tulo! As in basang basa na ung panyo at kamay ko. So this was like from Bicutan hanggang Nicols hanggang Edsa-Baclaran. My dad insisted on bringing me to his personal doctor kaya sa Pasay pa ko napagamot. Akala ko mamatay na ko! Ang hirap huminga at di ko malunok laway ko! Shet! When we arrived at my dad's doctor's house, tinapat nya lang ako sa pader, and using his own HANDS, attempted to put back my jaw in place. And it took him THREE FUCKING TIMES to finally get it right. Kala ko madudrog na panga ko shet! Whew!

Here's Morning Rush's "August 26, 2008 → The Top Ten Traffic Moments - Astroboy"

1. Homer - My lolo was one lucky person. He was stuck in traffic in the northbound lane on the SLEX. Right next to the airport, an airplane overshot the runway and settled on the highway. He was the last car missed by the plane.
2. Kirei - During traffic along EDSA, my best friend and I found ourselves behind a military truck. I waved at the soldiers, smiled, and blew them a kiss. A couple of soldiers waved back while the others smiled. Sobrang hiya ng best friend ko. So I told her, kahit sa ganung paraan man lang, mapabaunan ko sila ng konting saya bago sila sumabak sa digmaan.
3. Specialist - I was along c5 on my way to the office. After the Katipunan flyover, I saw a plastic bag thrown from the shanties. It almost hit the car in front of me. It splattered and I saw that it was filled with human poop.
4. Riverbanks - Our car and the car in front of us were flagged down by an MMDA person each. The car in front sped off after talking to the MMDA, then that guy talked to our MMDA. Apparently, the girl in front was Kris Aquino, and she told the MMDA that we were with her. If that was really her, then thanks, Ms. Kris!
5. Dru - I was listening to my ipod as I crossed the street. Then this truck almost ran me over. When I looked up, it was a truck of condoms!
6. XtraRice - As I was making sabit sa likod ng jeep (I’m a girl), the car right behind me started honking. When I looked, who should it be? My crush.
7. SC - I was stuck in trafic 0n a jeep somewhere in Blumentritt, when a w0man suddenly screamed, her ear bleeding. Apparently may humabl0t ng earrings niya, a guy 0n a bike.
8. Astroboy - I saw this car sticker on a car in fr0nt of me in traffic: “WARNING: children playng outside the car can cause accidents and adults playing inside the car can cause children!”
9. Carlo - When we were stuck in traffic in Cavite, we decided to ask a jeepney driver what was causing the congestion. The driver replied,”Kasi may umano sa ano diyan sa may ano eh.”
10. Marcus - One rainy August afternoon in 1998, I left the office in Pasig at 4:30pm and reached Alabang at 5am the next. We spent the whole night crawling in traffic along SLEX.
11. Racer - An MMDA flagged down a friend who was on a motorcycle. My friend said, “Ano pong violation?” The MMDA answered, “Wala naman, pa-angkas lang. Trafik eh.”
12. SC - While stuck in traffic in a taxi who happened to be listening to RX, I texted you guys to tell manong driver na pakilakasan ang aircon kasi nagmamantika na ko sa likod. Without talking, he did.
13. SPY Shadow - Our military vicar was apprehended by a highway patrol for beating the red light. But the officer, who was a Catholic, let him go when he recognized the priest, and said “Father, ingat na lang kayo doon sa next intersection kasi hindi po mga Katoliko ang mga assigned doon!”
14. Astroboy - One night, my sister had to take a taxi h0me. Nung malapit na siya, she tapped the driver’s sh0ulder then he screamed! He said after, “Pasensiya na po, 25 years kasi ak0ng driver sa punerarya. Di ako sanay na kinakalabit ng pasahero.”
15. Na name - While stuck in traffic on a bridge, may dad suddenly screamed, “May tumalon!” Apparently a lady committed suicide by jumping off.
16. Sayuri - We were not moving along Roxas blvd, when suddenly a motorcade on the other lane stopped right alongside of us. My son rolled down his window to see the commotion, then the limo that the police were escorting rolled down the windows, and who should peek out — Michael Jackson! He handed his sampaguita necklace to my son.
17. Jose de vengenge - One time in a bus, the conductor shouted, “O sige, pasok lang, maluwag yan kasi laging ginagamit!”